holyhellordestiel

lady-socrates:

alongcameatom:

daintylolihime:

don’t insult your kids, it’s damaging and ruins their self esteem

don’t insult your kids, it’s damaging and ruins their self esteem

don’t insult your kids, it’s damaging and ruins their self esteem and makes you a shitty person

lets be honest here how many parents do you think are on tumblr? 

the question is: 

how many FUTURE parents are on tumblr? At least some, and then it matters

lovemorgupaludan
lovemorgupaludan:

queen-of-fallen-angels:

my-little-ninja:

the-feather-kisses:

the-lincolnshire-poacher:

fandomsdevouredmysoul:

foreverwholocked:

whodunits:

cosbyykidd:

therenaissanceratchet:

obi-quiet:

Car sex just got a helluva lot easier.

or homelessness

two kinds of people.

you could put a dead body there and put a blanket on it and people would think they were just sleeping and it would be a great way to transport dead bodies inconspicuously. 

* three kinds of people.



HOW CAN YOU EVEN HAVE A GIF THAT’S THAT SPECIFIC?

I agree, it is highly unnatural…

You might even say it’s ….. “Supernatural”


You have been supernaturaled.


hums-happily

lovemorgupaludan:

queen-of-fallen-angels:

my-little-ninja:

the-feather-kisses:

the-lincolnshire-poacher:

fandomsdevouredmysoul:

foreverwholocked:

whodunits:

cosbyykidd:

therenaissanceratchet:

obi-quiet:

Car sex just got a helluva lot easier.

or homelessness

two kinds of people.

you could put a dead body there and put a blanket on it and people would think they were just sleeping and it would be a great way to transport dead bodies inconspicuously. 

* three kinds of people.

image

HOW CAN YOU EVEN HAVE A GIF THAT’S THAT SPECIFIC?

I agree, it is highly unnatural…

You might even say it’s ….. “Supernatural”
Uploaded with Imgupr

You have been supernaturaled.

hums-happily
johnstached
johnstached:

Click for: Potter!Lock - Omegaverse - Parent!Lock - Teen!Lock - Casefic

In which John and Sherlock are not consulting detectives.

Strategy Games by stillaseeker (~6k) ♥

Sherlock licks a long, nasty swipe up John’s ear. ‘I can feel your pulse.’ City/Banking AU

On Your Knees by myswordfishmind (38k)

AU, Based on the film “Secretary”: After he is invalided from the war, John feels his life is quickly spinning out of control, but when he finds a job assisting a man by the name of Sherlock Holmes he may find the very thing he’s needed all along.

Northwest Passage by Kryptaria (~95k) ♥

Canadian!John. Seven years ago, Captain John Watson of the Canadian Forces Medical Service withdrew from society, seeking a simple, isolated life in the distant northern wilderness of Canada. Though he survives from one day to the next, he doesn’t truly live until someone from his dark past calls in a favor and turns his world upside-down with the introduction of Sherlock Holmes.

The Internet Is Not Just For Porn by cyerus (~2k)

Canadian!John. John is Sherlock’s internet boyfriend - from CANADA.No one thinks he’s real.

The Prize by Trillsabells (~101k) ♥

Post Apocalyptic AU.On 29 January 2010 an unknown Event wiped out 98% of the population. This is the story of the survivors, four months on.

A Great Light by achycarnations (~2k)

Apocalyptic AU.Of course, they don’t get around to falling in love until the world is ending.

On the Steadfast Approach of an Oncoming Darkness by joolabee (~8k) ♥

Apocalyptic AU. The world is ending. Not fast, but slowly, like falling asleep with a fever.

in the hearts of small things by michi_thekiller (~10k)  ♥

Cat!Lock AU.In which John gets a cat and names it Sherlock.

the sound of flowers drying by michi_thekiller (~1k)

Cat!Lock AU.The one where they are both cats.

A Study in Winning by Jupiter_Ash (~106k) ♥

Tennis AU. John and Sherlock are professional tennis players and it’s Wimbledon. One is a broken almost was at the end of his career, the other an arrogant rising star tipped for greatness. It should have been a straightforward tournament. It really should have been. How were they to know that a chance encounter would change everything?

The Bang and the Clatter by earlgreytea68 (~137k)

Sherlock Holmes is a pitcher and John Watson is a catcher. No, no, no, it’s a baseball AU.

Amateurs by lbmisscharlie (~4k)

Porn Star AU. AU wherein John and Sherlock did not meet at Bart’s. Instead, they meet in a seedy studio for a bit of gay-for-pay amateur porn. John is doing it because he genuinely, desperately needs money and he’d heard an old army buddy say it paid well for almost nothing; Sherlock’s doing it for a case, of course.

Mise en Place by azriona 

Restaurant AU. John Watson had no intentions of taking over the family business, but when he returns from Afghanistan, battered and bruised, and discovers that his sister Harry has run their restaurant into the ground, he doesn’t have much choice. There’s only one thing that can save the Empire from closing for good – the celebrity star of the BBC series Restaurant Reconstructed, Chef Sherlock Holmes.

Software Malfunction by tiger_in_the_flightdeck (~17k)

Android AU. Assigned as the head of Medical Research on the Baker, John Watson meets- and quickly falls in love with- Sherlock, a specially commissioned Companion android with a malfunction.

Collared by VelvetMace (~83K) ♥

Slavery AU. In a world where the British Empire is still strong and slavery is her economic backbone, John has become a terrorist for the abolitionist movement. He is caught by Mycroft, enslaved, and given to Sherlock for training. The goal: To test a new kind of slave collar with the power to break even the strongest willed fighter. One that will make even John learn to love being a slave.

Slave Me by skadi_zlata (~16k)

Slavery AU.  In the gambling dens of a vaguely AU London, John Watson has won and lost fortunes in a night. One evening he winds up playing with entirely the wrong crowd, the kind of people that make him feel he’ll be lucky to get out of there with his life – let alone anything else. But the announced prize is somewhat unexpected. It’s an abused slave with dark curly hair and mesmerizing blue-grey eyes.

Floriography by lbmisscharlie (~22k)

Florist!AU - Sherlock is a florist and he’s doing the flowers at the wedding of John Watson and Mary Morstan. John’s about to marry his best friend in the world. He’s happy, in love, and content with Mary. So why can’t he get tall, enigmatic man who did the flowers at his wedding out of his mind?

Ad Meliora (Towards Better Things) by lotherington (~3k)

Priest AU. John Watson is a priest undergoing a crisis of faith, Sherlock is a trainee priest who makes it worse.

The Only Emperor by coloredink (~12k)

Ice Cream shop AU. It never occurred to Sherlock Holmes that an ice cream shop might attract children.

Fallen by mamishka (~47k)

Magic AU. In a world where myth, mystery, and the supernatural flourish beneath the veneer of modern civilization, Sherlock is a master of magic as well as science and deduction. But there are some things that he cannot see, riddles he cannot unravel, even when they walk right beside him in the form of one John Watson…

The Minor Fall by Ricechex (~62k)

Sherlock Holmes is hailed as the world’s greatest concert violinist who can’t leave off the cocaine and is willing to trade sex and abuse to get it. John Watson is a failed surgeon who, after losing a high profile patient, drinks himself into a stupor and tries to kill himself - but only ends up shooting himself in the shoulder. What happens when they become roommates at Clouds House, a rehab center in beautiful Wiltshire? And what happens after they leave Clouds?

Playing the game by KeelieThompson1 (~17k) ♥

Vampire AU. As a vampire, John often despairs of Sherlock Holmes. Especially when he makes a new fledgling.

Swallow You Whole by Lindentreeisle (Captainblue) (16k)

Vampire AU. "That was amazing," John blurted out.
Sherlock, already turned halfway to the door, paused and whirled back around. “Really?” he asked, narrowing his eyes at John.
"Yeah," John said. Sherlock flashed him a quick, tight grin, and then John saw the fangs. Oh.

Night Shift by corpsereviver2 (26k)

Vampire AU. Former army doctor John Watson is a daylighter, a specialist bodyguard for vampires. When he’s hired to be the bodyguard for a vampire’s younger brother - a vampire who doesn’t fit the usual vampire stereotypes of lazy aristocrat in a remote manor or wealthy, indolent playboy - John is intrigued. To his surprise, Sherlock seems intrigued by him as well.

Bleed Me Out by antietamfalls (88k)

Vampire AU.John isn’t exactly surprised to discover that Sherlock isn’t human. His vampirism doesn’t pose a problem, even when their relationship gradually grows into something more. That is, until a deadly revelation about John’s blood sends their lives spinning dangerously out of control.

The Curious Wine by songlin (15k)

Vampire AU.  "I want to watch you kill, because I want to see you lose that tiresome battle against your baser instincts. I want to drink from you, enough that you go weak and breathless and can’t stand properly, but I don’t want to kill you, because then you’ll be gone and the thought of never being surprised by you ever again makes me want to go naked into the sunlight and wait until it burns me into ash."

Red Dahlias by QuinnAnderson (9k)

Vampire AU.John had never thought he would one day stand with his vampire lover and laugh like giddy teenagers, but it wasn’t the first time his life had taken an unexpected twist. Johnlock. Porn with some Plot.

Salt in the Wounds by janto321 (FaceofMer) (~21k)

Selkie!AU.John Watson is home from the Great War, but he’s never fit in to this tiny fishing village. One day his life changes forever when he meets a selkie named Sherlock. From then on his life is never what he thought it would be.

The Prince and the Soldier by PrettyArbitrary (<7k)

Medieval AU.How characteristic, John had thought the first time the prince bedded him, that Sherlock would choose the most forbidden of passions to pursue.

Song of the Dauntless Knight by antietamfalls (~48k)

Medieval AU.14th-century England. Sir John Watson and his knightly comrades return home from fighting for the Black Prince in France and enter into the household service of Duke Moriarty. Among the many castle denizens is Lord Sherlock Holmes, heir to his brother the Earl and long-time hostage of the Duke. An unlikely relationship soon emerges.

The Art Of Seduction by flawedamythyst (97k)

Sherlock ran a website called The Science Of Seduction, on which he gave advice on the best ways to get laid, wrote blog entries detailing the results of his various sexual ‘experiments’ and generally contributed to the stereotype of ‘every gay man is a sex-mad playboy’. John avoided the thing like the plague.

Bel Canto by bendingsignpost (~127k)

After years of waiting for wealthy patrons to faint, Dr John Watson discovers a far more interesting patient in the opera house basement. (AU through a Phantom of the Opera lens.)

A Beginner’s Guide to Apiology. by VictoryCandescence (10k)

John and Sherlock meet for the first time as old men in Sussex.

Man and Beast by Jupiter_Ash (~20k)

Werewolf AU.Sherlock is a werewolf who is captured by a facility which wants to experiment on him.  When John is placed into his cage they expect Sherlock to attack him, but instead, he tries to mate with John.

Deflowered by Lorelei_Lee (~16k)

Mob!AU - Boss!John bought the first night of virgin!Sherlock who works as a rentboy in Miss Adler’s brothel.

Il Traviato by kedgeree (68k)

Pretty Woman!AU.A down-on-his-luck ex-soldier meets a wealthy businessman in need of a short-term companion. A simple transaction gives them both what they need. Sort of.

A Moment’s Surrender by anchors  (64k)

Dancer!AU. Sherlock tours worldwide with the English National Ballet. John dances the Lindy Hop competitively all across the globe. That they would meet, then, by the slimmest of chances in one lonely city, is pure coincidence. The whole ‘dancing together’ bit is a little more planned. 

johnstached:

Click for: Potter!Lock - Omegaverse - Parent!Lock - Teen!Lock - Casefic

In which John and Sherlock are not consulting detectives.

Strategy Games by  (~6k) 

Sherlock licks a long, nasty swipe up John’s ear. ‘I can feel your pulse.’ City/Banking AU

On Your Knees by  (38k)

AU, Based on the film “Secretary”: After he is invalided from the war, John feels his life is quickly spinning out of control, but when he finds a job assisting a man by the name of Sherlock Holmes he may find the very thing he’s needed all along.

Northwest Passage by  (~95k) ♥

Canadian!John. Seven years ago, Captain John Watson of the Canadian Forces Medical Service withdrew from society, seeking a simple, isolated life in the distant northern wilderness of Canada. Though he survives from one day to the next, he doesn’t truly live until someone from his dark past calls in a favor and turns his world upside-down with the introduction of Sherlock Holmes.

The Internet Is Not Just For Porn by  (~2k)

Canadian!John. John is Sherlock’s internet boyfriend - from CANADA.No one thinks he’s real.

The Prize by  (~101k) ♥

Post Apocalyptic AU.On 29 January 2010 an unknown Event wiped out 98% of the population. This is the story of the survivors, four months on.

A Great Light by  (~2k)

Apocalyptic AU.Of course, they don’t get around to falling in love until the world is ending.

On the Steadfast Approach of an Oncoming Darkness by  (~8k) 

Apocalyptic AU. The world is ending. Not fast, but slowly, like falling asleep with a fever.

in the hearts of small things by  (~10k)  ♥

Cat!Lock AU.In which John gets a cat and names it Sherlock.

the sound of flowers drying by  (~1k)

Cat!Lock AU.The one where they are both cats.

A Study in Winning by  (~106k) 

Tennis AU. John and Sherlock are professional tennis players and it’s Wimbledon. One is a broken almost was at the end of his career, the other an arrogant rising star tipped for greatness. It should have been a straightforward tournament. It really should have been. How were they to know that a chance encounter would change everything?

The Bang and the Clatter by  (~137k)

Sherlock Holmes is a pitcher and John Watson is a catcher. No, no, no, it’s a baseball AU.

Amateurs by  (~4k)

Porn Star AU. AU wherein John and Sherlock did not meet at Bart’s. Instead, they meet in a seedy studio for a bit of gay-for-pay amateur porn. John is doing it because he genuinely, desperately needs money and he’d heard an old army buddy say it paid well for almost nothing; Sherlock’s doing it for a case, of course.

Mise en Place by  

Restaurant AU. John Watson had no intentions of taking over the family business, but when he returns from Afghanistan, battered and bruised, and discovers that his sister Harry has run their restaurant into the ground, he doesn’t have much choice. There’s only one thing that can save the Empire from closing for good – the celebrity star of the BBC series Restaurant Reconstructed, Chef Sherlock Holmes.

Software Malfunction by  (~17k)

Android AU. Assigned as the head of Medical Research on the Baker, John Watson meets- and quickly falls in love with- Sherlock, a specially commissioned Companion android with a malfunction.

Collared by  (~83K) 

Slavery AU. In a world where the British Empire is still strong and slavery is her economic backbone, John has become a terrorist for the abolitionist movement. He is caught by Mycroft, enslaved, and given to Sherlock for training. The goal: To test a new kind of slave collar with the power to break even the strongest willed fighter. One that will make even John learn to love being a slave.

Slave Me by  (~16k)

Slavery AU.  In the gambling dens of a vaguely AU London, John Watson has won and lost fortunes in a night. One evening he winds up playing with entirely the wrong crowd, the kind of people that make him feel he’ll be lucky to get out of there with his life – let alone anything else. But the announced prize is somewhat unexpected. It’s an abused slave with dark curly hair and mesmerizing blue-grey eyes.

Floriography by  (~22k)

Florist!AU - Sherlock is a florist and he’s doing the flowers at the wedding of John Watson and Mary Morstan. John’s about to marry his best friend in the world. He’s happy, in love, and content with Mary. So why can’t he get tall, enigmatic man who did the flowers at his wedding out of his mind?

Ad Meliora (Towards Better Things) by  (~3k)

Priest AU. John Watson is a priest undergoing a crisis of faith, Sherlock is a trainee priest who makes it worse.

The Only Emperor by  (~12k)

Ice Cream shop AU. It never occurred to Sherlock Holmes that an ice cream shop might attract children.

Fallen by  (~47k)

Magic AU. In a world where myth, mystery, and the supernatural flourish beneath the veneer of modern civilization, Sherlock is a master of magic as well as science and deduction. But there are some things that he cannot see, riddles he cannot unravel, even when they walk right beside him in the form of one John Watson…

The Minor Fall by  (~62k)

Sherlock Holmes is hailed as the world’s greatest concert violinist who can’t leave off the cocaine and is willing to trade sex and abuse to get it. John Watson is a failed surgeon who, after losing a high profile patient, drinks himself into a stupor and tries to kill himself - but only ends up shooting himself in the shoulder. What happens when they become roommates at Clouds House, a rehab center in beautiful Wiltshire? And what happens after they leave Clouds?

Playing the game by  (~17k) 

Vampire AU. As a vampire, John often despairs of Sherlock Holmes. Especially when he makes a new fledgling.

Swallow You Whole by  (16k)

Vampire AU. "That was amazing," John blurted out.

Sherlock, already turned halfway to the door, paused and whirled back around. “Really?” he asked, narrowing his eyes at John.

"Yeah," John said. Sherlock flashed him a quick, tight grin, and then John saw the fangs. Oh.

Night Shift by  (26k)

Vampire AU. Former army doctor John Watson is a daylighter, a specialist bodyguard for vampires. When he’s hired to be the bodyguard for a vampire’s younger brother - a vampire who doesn’t fit the usual vampire stereotypes of lazy aristocrat in a remote manor or wealthy, indolent playboy - John is intrigued. To his surprise, Sherlock seems intrigued by him as well.

Bleed Me Out by  (88k)

Vampire AU.John isn’t exactly surprised to discover that Sherlock isn’t human. His vampirism doesn’t pose a problem, even when their relationship gradually grows into something more. That is, until a deadly revelation about John’s blood sends their lives spinning dangerously out of control.

The Curious Wine by  (15k)

Vampire AU.  "I want to watch you kill, because I want to see you lose that tiresome battle against your baser instincts. I want to drink from you, enough that you go weak and breathless and can’t stand properly, but I don’t want to kill you, because then you’ll be gone and the thought of never being surprised by you ever again makes me want to go naked into the sunlight and wait until it burns me into ash."

Red Dahlias by  (9k)

Vampire AU.John had never thought he would one day stand with his vampire lover and laugh like giddy teenagers, but it wasn’t the first time his life had taken an unexpected twist. Johnlock. Porn with some Plot.

Salt in the Wounds by  (~21k)

Selkie!AU.John Watson is home from the Great War, but he’s never fit in to this tiny fishing village. One day his life changes forever when he meets a selkie named Sherlock. From then on his life is never what he thought it would be.

The Prince and the Soldier by  (<7k)

Medieval AU.How characteristic, John had thought the first time the prince bedded him, that Sherlock would choose the most forbidden of passions to pursue.

Song of the Dauntless Knight by  (~48k)

Medieval AU.14th-century England. Sir John Watson and his knightly comrades return home from fighting for the Black Prince in France and enter into the household service of Duke Moriarty. Among the many castle denizens is Lord Sherlock Holmes, heir to his brother the Earl and long-time hostage of the Duke. An unlikely relationship soon emerges.

The Art Of Seduction by  (97k)

Sherlock ran a website called The Science Of Seduction, on which he gave advice on the best ways to get laid, wrote blog entries detailing the results of his various sexual ‘experiments’ and generally contributed to the stereotype of ‘every gay man is a sex-mad playboy’. John avoided the thing like the plague.

Bel Canto by  (~127k)

After years of waiting for wealthy patrons to faint, Dr John Watson discovers a far more interesting patient in the opera house basement. (AU through a Phantom of the Opera lens.)

A Beginner’s Guide to Apiology. by  (10k)

John and Sherlock meet for the first time as old men in Sussex.

Man and Beast by  (~20k)

Werewolf AU.Sherlock is a werewolf who is captured by a facility which wants to experiment on him.  When John is placed into his cage they expect Sherlock to attack him, but instead, he tries to mate with John.

Deflowered by  (~16k)

Mob!AU - Boss!John bought the first night of virgin!Sherlock who works as a rentboy in Miss Adler’s brothel.

Il Traviato by  (68k)

Pretty Woman!AU.A down-on-his-luck ex-soldier meets a wealthy businessman in need of a short-term companion. A simple transaction gives them both what they need. Sort of.

A Moment’s Surrender by   (64k)

Dancer!AU. Sherlock tours worldwide with the English National Ballet. John dances the Lindy Hop competitively all across the globe. That they would meet, then, by the slimmest of chances in one lonely city, is pure coincidence. The whole ‘dancing together’ bit is a little more planned.